These are like 6 little soldiers you can keep in your back pocket and pull out in a moment of crisis, or heartbreak, or failure, or Fuck, is this real life?
What goes on in our heads as we experience life is just a lens. It’s the color and the kind of glass through which we see the world that shapes our perception of it. If that lens gets too dark, we need to lighten it up. If it gets blurry, we need to clean it. If we see nothing but a brick wall ahead of us, we need to switch that baby out for something more transparent.
Because it’s just a lens.
And even though it may take a while to get the right one in sometimes, the simple act of not looking through the one that doesn’t serve us or that is skewing our perspective in a harmful way is enough to put us in a better mental space.
So, here, try these 6 mental shifts.
1. I’m not showing up to be judged, I am showing up to live.
When you go to the beach that first day of summer, what experience do you show up to? Are you digging your toes into the sand, taking in the ocean breeze, and listening to the calming sound of the waves crashing while you feel the warm sun wrap itself around your body?
Or do you feel more like you’re walking onto a stage for an audition, in front of thousands of people holding critique cards?
How you show up every day matters. And that’s why it’s important to wake up to a day that isn’t about what people think of you or the way you life your life, but rather, you wake up to a day that’s all about that feeling – that feeling of love, of happiness, of being present and loving, and enjoying each and every magnificent moment before you.
2. My Fear is my bullshit
Fear that you’re not good enough. That you don’t deserve the greener grass. That you’ll fail if you leap, and that you’re not strong enough survive.
Fear of what you could lose if you leave stability behind to follow your heart. Fear of judgement. Fear of not fitting in. Fear of being different.
Fear of being alone. That something toxic is better than nothing. That if you don’t keep this person around, no one else will ever love you.
All these fears are full of shit. This is self-doubt, lack of self-esteem, lack of confidence – all these holes in our hearts manifesting as warning signs. But guess what? They’re all bullshit. They’re not real, and they’re definitely not warning you about any real dangers.
We create these fears and therefore, as the creators of these lenses, we can shatter them and make new ones.
3. There are different paths I can take, but I can always change course
We get hung up on these BIG decisions. We worry that we’re choosing the wrong path and we wonder what will happen if we miss out on something great. But that uncertainty hardly ever ends in us choosing one or the other; that uncertainty usually just freezes us and keeps us from actually living.
And if we do somehow manage to choose, we don’t fully give in to that experience.
But listen, no matter how permanent something may seem, nothing is ever cast in stone. Jobs can change, relationships can end, and you can always move back. And if it is a choice that can never be undone, the circumstances around it and your perception of your experience through it can always change.
4. If it’s not working, it’s not for me, and I need to free up space for what is
There’s a very unfortunate consequence to focusing our energies on something that’s just not right for us: it’s called Tunnel Syndrome.
It’s when we are so focused on trying to make something work that we’re blind to something that’s a much better fit for us. We stop looking around. We stop receiving. We put on blinders and hard-headed as hell, we keep hammering at nonexistent nails.
So be honest and don’t keep hammering out of fear that this is it. It’s not it, and whatever it is, there is always more of it.
5. Life’s not happening to me, it’s happening FOR me
Here are three core statements to always remember:
- The victim card is the most damaging card in the deck.
- Complaining is a megaphone through which you ask the Universe for more.
- Being passive in life will always get you a back row spectator seat to your own show.
If you take anything away from today’s article, this is it: this is the most valuable mindset shift you’ll ever create. You are in control of your own life and when you see it as an ally and not the enemy, you’ll realize the power it has to serve you and bring you everything you’ve ever wanted.
6. I need to lighten the fuck up
Yes, show up. Yes, be all you can be. Do all you can do, experience all that this magnificent world has to offer. Feel the love, feel the heartbreak, feel the pain, feel the adventure, and the fear, and the risks, and the leaps, and the laughter, and feel it all. Open your arms nice and wide to all that is this human experience.
And then, let it go. Don’t attach yourself to any one thing because it’s not that serious. Nothing should pull you so deeply underwater that you can no longer see the sky.
Life is filled with experience and every single thing from life-changing encounters with strangers, to going after the job you really want, to falling in love, to making dreams come true, to experiencing the most painful of heartaches – all of it is life.
So live it. Be there. Be there every second of it. Take deep, fulfilling breaths. And be fearless.
And don’t forget to change the lens as often as fucking possible.
If this serves you in any way and you dig it, please give it a share!