I walked into the room with my head down, clinging tightly to my new notebook. Although I had arrived with two women I had gotten to know the day before, the moment we walked through the doors, they both ran off to greet the rest of the room.
I was new. I was scared.
It was the first day of a 3-day immersion for the high level mastermind I had just invested $40,000 into joining to grow my business.
The one I said yes to with $1,100 in my bank account.
Everyone in the room had been in the mastermind for months, and they were already successful coaches and they were already friends. I was just a name they couldn’t pronounce in the FB group, who had joined the week before the event.
When it came time to introduce ourselves, my coach called on me second.
He asked me to share a bit of what I do and then to follow it with the one thing I didn’t want anyone in the room to know about me. (Something I now do at my own events, btw)
My eyes scanned the room nervously as I blurted out my name, hearing my voice crack and feeling my body do an awkward wave.
“Hi, I’m Chiara. I… I help… well, I help women… Well, I’m not sure exactly with what…I’ve been doing it for over 8 years…” I nervously looked at my coach to put me out of my misery.
But instead, he waited patiently.
“What do you not want anyone here to know?”
I looked around at the 6 and 7 figure earners and I felt the imposter syndrome tears fill up my eyes.
“I guess, don’t say anything nice to me. I’m a walking dam, really. Like, if you say anything kind, I’ll break. And I don’t want to break. I don’t know how to break. I’ve been in survival mode for the last few years after my divorce and I’m a single mom, and I… I don’t know how to receive.”
The entire room softened and everyone’s eyes filled with love.
Many put their hands on their hearts and smiled.
Within seconds, almost everyone in the room whispered, “I see you, Chiara.”
And there went the dam.
Your Unique Light: Why You Must, for You
We often keep others from seeing who we truly are because we don’t feel safe. We feel like we’ll be attacked or criticized – judged for our shortcomings or even ridiculed for our confidence or our bigness.
And to that, I say, so what?
The moment you disarm the power of their judgement is the moment you take it back and make it yours.
Because people will always judge and they’ll always criticize but it has never anything to do with you, and everything to do with them.
And to believe that they don’t have battles they’re fighting of their own behind closed doors is crazy, because they all do.
We all do.
Letting others see you in your truth, light and dark, is the pathway to falling in love with yourself and the permission to fully step into the vision of your future, no matter where you want it to go.
In your darkness: I want to take a moment to honor every struggle you’ve endured in your life. Every shitty comment from a loved one that has left a crack in your heart. Every time you fell in love and it didn’t quite work out. Every embarrassing moment, every failed attempt at anything, every bullshit persona you’ve had to put up to protect the real you.
I want you to know, You are not your struggle.
I also want to remind you that: You made it out. You’re okay. You’re a warrior. You’ve learned so much. You’re stronger now.
Celebrate your strength and don’t be ashamed of the journey that has gotten you here, because that’s where you are – you’re here.
We are ALL made of light and dark. And true balance can only be experienced when we fully accept all aspects of ourselves, which allow us to fully step into our power.
In your light: And for those of us who are afraid of shining bright, who are afraid of being judged for our BIGNESS, and for letting others see us succeed… here’s what I say to you:
The world needs more light. Shine on.
The sooner you give yourself permission to shine, the more in alignment you’ll be with the vision you hold for your dreams.
Because I’m willing to bet that when you close your eyes, you see the bigness of your life. You see all the wonderful things you want to achieve and the woman you want to grow into.
How would it feel to be fully seen in your truth?
To be really, truly loved and cherished by your partner for who you truly are. To have friends who genuinely and consistently show up for you. To have followers, readers, and clients who are empowered by all the magic that makes you – and just you – unique?
That is the best feeling in the world and it’s the gift of giving yourself permission to be seen for the incredible person you are.
Your Unique Light: Why we must for them
Opening up and shining our light gives others permission to do the same. The more we open ourselves up, the more others see of themselves.
This is the biggest reason, in my opinion, to let ourselves be seen.
Especially those of us in leadership roles, or who are artists, coaches, or healers of any kind.
There are people out there waiting to see themselves in someone so they have permission to start their own journeys of healing, self-expression, and self-love.
Think about how powerful it is for us to see someone famous own her body and speak to her cellulite and stretch marks and how she still feels like a sexual goddess.
We give others permission to be their true selves.
How magnificently powerful and magical is that?
How to Stop Being Afraid of Being Seen
It’s time, my friend. It’s time for you to step into the light and let others see you for who you are. You have nothing to be afraid of, and even if you are, fear is not a cement wall blocking your path; it’s a cloud of sparkles you can walk right through.
Step 1: Identify the shame. Give it a name.
- What thought brings you the most discomfort?
- What’s the one thing you don’t want to admit?
- What terrifies you about stepping into your light and being seen for who you truly are?
Step 2: Do some conversion exercises
One thing I do with all my clients is powerful conversion exercises. When you identify what it is that’s keeping you shackled and afraid to be seen, you can strip its power and transform it into a new powerful reframe.
I put together this easy worksheet for you to grab. Print it out or use it as a guideline.
Step 3: Do the uncomfortable action
You know exactly what that uncomfortable action is. It could be a conversation with your partner or your family. It could be doing a daily Facebook Live about your new business. It could be posting a selfie without makeup, or a selfie WITH makeup, or telling your mommy group to fuck off because you don’t have your shit together that week and you can’t be perfect.
Success is showing up, not the end result.
So you’re scared to be seen? Do it anyway.
What you are most scared of, you have no control over anyway AND IT DOESN’T MATTER because what others think IS NOT TRUTH. Empower yourself by standing up, shining your light, and in spite of being afraid, DOING IT ANYWAY.
So be seen for who you are – your wants, your desires, your talents, your obsessions, your flaws, your quirks, your magic, your all.
Be that gift to others. Give them permission to rise to their best selves and let others see them for their magic too. Embrace your fears, share them, and empower yourself through them.
Stand boldly in front of this powerful mirror and let us see you in all your magnificent glory, girl.
You are amazing.