Life can get scary. Sometimes, you’d much rather curl up in fetal position in bed, suck on a spoonful of Nutella, and wait for the storm to pass than actually face life as it comes – but it doesn’t work that way. Hurdles, challenges, and dilemmas don’t wait for you to have your shit together before they storm into your life to create chaos, so you need to be ready when they come. Although we can’t always be in game-mode, it’s a good idea to have some big girl panties lying around for game time.
Bring the Big Girl Panties Out When…
…You Fuck Up
So you’ve gone and screwed something up – it happens to the best of us. Unfortunately, life’s screw-ups rarely come without consequence, so when it’s time for you to face the music, you just need to bite down, stand tall, and you gotta own it. The thing about screwing up is that people never really forgive what you’ve done until you apologize. (And even then, if it’s a grand scale fuck up, they may never actually forget.) That said, owning up to your mistakes and apologizing for any wrong doing means you’re taking ownership of your actions, potentially learning your lessons, and most importantly, you’re reminding whomever you screwed over that they matter and they had a right to be upset.
Own up to your screw ups so everyone involved can move the hell on with their lives.
…You Get Pushed into a Situation You Would Rather Not Be In
The lead presenter in your group calls in sick on presentation day and you’re forced to speak in front of 45 judgmental old men. This is a situation you would rather not be in. While this particular scenario may not fit your life, getting pushed to step up when you would rather hide in the shadows is something that happens all of the time. And although this may seem like, ugh, the end of the world, it’s really a golden opportunity to wow your peers and inspire others to own their inner badass. Take a deep breath in, find a happy place, and get that shit over with before you have a chance to doubt yourself.
Remember, the quicker you agree to it, the sooner it will be over, and you’ll get a nice pat on the back for being such a big girl.
…You Have to Swallow Your Pride
Sometimes the hardest thing for us to do is swallow our pride for the sake of peace. We love our pride, we worked super hard for it and don’t want to turn into doormats whenever there’s an altercation. But although I would like nothing more than to assure you that you could live a life filled with victories, the truth is that life often times requires the stronger bunch to wave the white flag. Sometimes you do more good by letting someone else think he or she won, than you do by proving your point and walking away with the crown.
Learning to pick your battles will ensure a lot more victories for you. Until then, pull your big girl panties out when swallowing your pride feels more like swallowing shards of glass.
…You Have to Make a BIG Move toward Your Goal
Oh, scarrrryy. Maybe you’ve been offered a job across the country and you’re terrified because you don’t know a single soul there. Or perhaps a spot opens up high up in the corporate ladder that is going to require some major theatrics to reach. Whatever this gigantic leap entails, it’s terrifying, and as easy as it would be to blink and get there sooner than later, that’s not how life works.
Remember that the bigger the jump for your dreams, the bigger the payoff, and that once you get to the other side, you won’t want to take those panties off because of how proud you’ll be of yourself.
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…You Have to Sacrifice Something You Love
It may feel like like is all about the sacrifice and rarely about the payoff, but the truth is, you just haven’t reached the payoff part yet. It’s like watching someone on a weight-loss journey. The before picture is a sad woman throwing bags of chips and cookies into the garbage and the after picture is a super fit and healthy, happy woman proudly munching on an apple. Making that sacrifice seemed like it would do little for the end result but when the payoff finally came, it was worth every last tear. We grow attached to things quickly and it can often cloud our judgment for when it’s time to reach a goal. Put your big girl panties on and trust in the process.
I know it’s sad to see it go, but you have to decide what you want most out of the two and make a big girl choice.
…Someone You Love Doesn’t Love You
This is the worst. Having to admit to yourself that someone you care for does not feel the same about you is like a double stab in the heart. First, and most importantly, the two of you can’t be together and you will never play out that prince on a horseback fantasy you’ve had since you were a little girl. Secondly, and more tragically, is the assumption that someone not loving you means you’re somehow flawed. What’s really going here is that your ego wants to commit suicide from all the rejection. But the reality is, there’s a million and one reasons he or she may not love you, and wishful thinking isn’t going to change that.
Be a big girl, look yourself in the mirror and accept the fact that ‘this one just ain’t it’. It’ll hurt, but I promise, you will heal.
…It’s Time to End a Friendship
We often make the mistake of sticking to someone because we’ve been friends ‘for like, ever’, when really, our paths started going different directions long ago. Sometimes you have to realize that much like a relationship, a friendship was never meant to last longer than a short phase of your life. When you’re no longer clicking the way you used to and you feel more at odds than you do in sync, it’s time to let each other go and allow yourselves to befriend new people – people that are much more aligned with the people you’ve become.
Having to admit a friendship has come to an end is a hard thing to do, but it’s absolutely necessary on your path of self-discovery. It’s okay, girl, there are many wonderful people out there that are just waiting to get to know you and love you for the gem that you are.
…Your Finances Get Fucked
I’m willing to bet that back when you were a teenager you imagined your 20s and your 30s would be filled with financial stability because that’s just what it meant to be a grown up, right? Well, most of us living the real 20s and 30s have lived through a financial fuck up or two. Whether you’ve never gotten ahead of living from paycheck to paycheck or some medical emergency ruined all of your savings, seeing a small sum in your savings account or even your checking account, can be absolutely terrifying. But while the instinct to disappear into a tub of ice cream or run to Vegas for a wild weekend might feel strong, this is one of those times you need to power the hell up and handle your business.
Buy yourself a bottle of wine (no more than one because being drunk won’t help here) and sit down with your financial stuff for an entire afternoon. Figure out what’s happening, start from the bottom, and work your way up. What late fees can you get removed? Will a second (or third) part time job help? Maybe you can run your aunt’s social media for a couple hundred bucks a month to help with the bills. Big girl panties and your thinking caps, ladies.
…It’s Time to Ask for Help
We can do it all. No matter the task, no matter the weight on our backs, or the length of our to-do lists, we’ll pile too much onto our plate before we ever admit we need help. But while admitting you need help may feel like a claiming weakness, it’s actually more of a power move than anything else. Yes, it’s hard to admit you can’t do it all, but at the end of the day no one benefits from a prideful bitch who does everything half-assed to get more done.
People love to help. Put your ego aside and let them.
…Your Health Gets the Boot
Because who has time to get to the gym everyday? Who has the money to eat organic and skip microwavable meals? AmIright? Thing is, when you ignore your health, you’re setting everything else in your life up to collapse, even the things that are seemingly going well. You know all those hours of sleep you sacrificed to get that big promotion? How’re you going to look Monday when you haven’t slept in 8 weeks? No matter what, health should come first. Figure out a way to make it a priority and push everything else down, because without it, you’ll be left with nothing.
Skipping a night out to take care of yourself is okay. Everyone will remember who you are tomorrow.
…Your Relationship Is Failing
Last, but not least, is one of the bigger pairs of panties you’ll need in life. Stepping up to save a failing relationship, especially when you’ve played a role in its downfall, is going to require a lot of courage. Now, I’m not talking about adding a weekly date night and a few more blow jobs here and there, this is really deep stuff that requires a lot of TLC and that will demand a lot of your energy and attention. It may mean a combination of some of the other signs, like swallowing your pride and owning up to your mistakes.
Frame Those Panties
I promise to write a follow up on when it’s okay to curl up in fetal position and feed yourself Nutella in bed for a week straight. This, however, was a list of times that running and hiding would have done you no good, and when it comes down to it, being a big girl is your only choice. Frame those bad boys and wear ’em when you need ’em. Know that you have strength and courage ready to go when life demands it.
So instead of growing a pair, trying wearing a pair instead.