What’s it like to date today’s Rad Chick? I’m not talking about just any girl, I’m talking about that badass girl who is out there making moves. She’s strong and bold, and in most cases, gives no fucks. She’s driven, confused, but totally passionate about the chaos. She’s focused and aiming to become the ultimate best version of herself. She’s that girl you really want but have no idea how to keep. This one’s for the guys and all the Rag Chicks who date them.
So, what’s it take to be her man?
How to Date Today’s Rad Chick
First and foremost, you must have the ability to go with the flow. A lot of women in their 20s and 30s are choosing to be single or are opting for casual relationships. So where it used to be that the man called the shots when it came time to label a relationship, women are now stepping up and are learning to play the game too. They’re a lot more comfortable in undefined relationships because they’ve managed to work on the insecurities that made them uncomfortable in the first place.
Have Your Shit Together
No couch surfin’, parents’ basement-living dude is going to cut it for anything beyond a tinder one-night stand. If she’s working to get her shit together, she’s going to expect you to do the same. I mean, we’re young, and we get the whole ‘temporarily needing to get back on our feet thing’, but if you’ve gotten comfortable mooching off of other people and have no drive to get your ass into a big boy home, you’re really not going to be a good fit for today’s Rad Chick. If things get serious, she doesn’t want to have to worry about joining bank accounts* and watching everything she’s worked for disappear into oblivion while you take up residence on her cute little couch.
*If she’s a real modern gal, she’ll know to keep some of her shit separate anyway, but you get the gist.
You may be as much of a lost boy as she is a lost girl, but as long as you can put food on the table (for yourself)*, she’ll be happy about it – and know that it doesn’t hurt to have a dream or some all-consuming ambition going on at the same time.
*This does not mean you need to have your shit together to buy her things and take care of her. This just shows her you can take care of yourself. Super sexy.
Be Supportive without Suffocating Her
Today’s Rad Chick is making a bee-line toward something – even if that ‘something’ is figuring out what the hell she wants. To be a good partner, you need to be able to support her without trying to sway her or pressure her to do something she wouldn’t choose to do on her own.
Otherwise, she will resent you one day.
You have to be supportive without making her feel incapable. You need to be present in her struggles without jumping in to fight her battles. She needs to know that when she survives the big, bad, scary world, you’ll be waiting at home with open arms without making her feel like she’s any less of the warrior she was that day.
Women are going through a lot right now. We’re dealing with this whole wave of self-acceptance and self-love and are working hard to trust each other more. We’re dealing with body image issues, jealousy and envy, and really looking inward to fix what we feel is broken deep within.
So when you walk into her life, you need to be aware of the battle she’s fighting – and you need to be accepting of it all. Let her work out her insecurities, while continuing to reassure her of her strengths. Accept her lows. Most importantly, let her try to climb back up on her own. It’s important to her and this is something she needs to learn to do without relying on a man.
Give her the wiggle room as she embarks on this journey.
And if she comes home after a hard day and opts for ice cream and wine for dinner, accept it and let her be.
Bring Back the Chivalry, Bro
This topic is hot in the world of empowered women. Should you split the bill? Open doors for her? Protect her from the scary world out there and give her your coat when it’s cold? Before I say anything, let’s take a look at what comes up when you google chivalry.
Courage, honor, courtesy, justice, and a readiness to help the weak? I mean, yep.
*This may vary from woman to woman, more so than the rest of the points in this article.
I’m team chivalry. I don’t believe in splitting the bill, I believe in taking turns paying. But before I get too far into my own turn ons – as if this post is anything but that – I want to reign it back to today’s Rad Chick.
Opening the door for a lady doesn’t mean you’re saying she’s too weak to do it herself – it’s just you being courteous. Strong women know that and don’t take offense from an act of courtesy. In fact, guys have stopped doing that sort of thing for women, so if you do it, she’ll take notice.
Offering your coat to a woman who is freezing cold doesn’t make the statement that the bitch doesn’t know how to dress. It says, “I’d rather you didn’t catch pneumonia tonight.”
When a woman is busy doing ‘all of this’ in her own life, it’s the thoughtful gestures that really stand out.
*We know we can open our own doors and take off our own coats. We do it all the time without men around and we manage to survive the day.
All the Sexy
Whether you’re into letting her take charge or full on dominating her in the bedroom, a woman needs to feel sexy and wanted. Period. And girls want to have sex – some, even every day.
Today’s girl is doing her job in learning to feel sexy without a man. She’s working on loving her body and pushing herself to explore her sexuality.
But when that bedroom door shuts behind you, you need to step it up and let the animal out because you have a job to do.
A woman’s sexuality is a lot more powerful that the role a lot of men want her to play. She wants you explore it, feed it, and bring out the fire that defines it. So make the moves and consume her with all of your manliness – she wants it.
Learn to Call Her out on Her Bullshit
The Rad Chick is all about challenges and self-improvement. She wants to be better and be pushed to greatness. You need to be able to call her out on her bullshit without being a dick. Delicate dance, I know. You need to take the time to learn her and know when she’s not on her game.
A healthy relationship is one where you can grow together. Growth happens with honesty and the desire to improve, and it’s your job as her partner to be the reflection she may rather ignore.
The most important thing is to do this beside her, not as a condescending opposing force. Do this right and you will earn the place by her side.
And Lastly, Yes, Keep the Romance Alive
You can accept the transition from early state courtship to pizza and Netflix date night without losing the romance in between. When you first start to date someone, it’s all about the bells and whistles, but the real game begins once you’ve gotten the girl and you want to keep her feeling that first kiss high.
Be present. Stay with her in the moment and with a little bit of effort, the romance will come. The secret to keeping the romance alive is actually pretty simple, and not a secret at all: It’s the little things.
Put a rose in the box of pizza. The act is so small, but the smile on her face will last much longer than the Netflix marathon.
The best part about dating today’s Rad Chick is that she’s likely to do all of this for you in return.
So what do you think, did I miss anything?