I was sitting on my living room floor waiting for the water to boil for dinner when the power went out. It was the middle of winter in New York – cold and snowy – and I had just spent the afternoon crying over another web design client needing to ‘put off’ our project.
This was the third one in a week.
The previous 3 weeks hadn’t been any easier. In fact, I had spent most of that time worrying about being behind on every single bill, and being so late on rent that I had been ignoring texts from my landlord.
Shit was hard, my friends. Super hard.
I ran to my phone and called the gas & electric company, knowing full well I had ignored the “Final Notice of Termination” pink envelopes hiding between the coupon books in my mailbox.
“We can’t restore your service unless you pay the $783.11 in full,” she said.
“But it’s dinner time, and it’s winter, and I have a kid in the house. Is there anything you can do?” I pleaded.
I remember feeling my throat close as I listened to her list the financial assistance office hours.
How had I gotten here? How had things gotten this bad? What was I going to do now?
But when I hung up, something unimaginable happened.
I didn’t scream. I didn’t cry. I didn’t fall to the ground in my favorite fuck-my-life ball. I went into a bit of a trance as I walked around the apartment lighting candles. I looked at my son, smiling and playing games on the couch. I saw my cat perk up and stretch and blink her slow blinks, telling me she loved me.
I lied down on my living floor, looked up at the ceiling, and took a deep, satisfying breath. I know, this sounds crazy.
This? This is the moment I had been paralyzed in fear over? I thought. Well, it ain’t so bad. I’ve still got them. I’m still alive. I’m still alive. I’m still alive. I can do something about this.
What happened in the next 3 days is nothing short of pure magic.
I made $15,600 in new contracts in less than 72 hours.
Here’s how I did it
I could tell you the specifics of how I landed those clients, but that’s not what’s important. All I did was ask myself 3 questions.
Questions are powerful because they help us break through fear based fogs and find the answers that already exist within ourselves. When you learn that you have the answers to solve your problems, you learn to harness your power… And harnessing your power is the true secret to getting through life’s challenges. Figure that out and you have the key to building the life of your dreams.
(Need help with this? I’m looking for 3 new souls to empower through my Amplified Bold Life Immersion Program. Email me and say hello.)
First question: What am I afraid of?
Dig deep and give it a name. Fears hide deep inside our core and they wear multiple disguises. Sometimes, you have to dig a little bit.
When you’re able to identify your worst fears, you take them out of your head and into the ring. You realize they’re nothing to be afraid of. You regain power. You need the power.
You realize you can stop making decisions out of fear. (Here’s how)
Second question: What is the Universe (replace with God, Spirit, Divine, etc) trying to tell me?
Believe it or not, when life gets challenging, there is always a hidden message. A lesson.
Something you have to learn, do, become. Something that is vital to your path and evolution.
Every challenge is an opportunity for growth. To show up for our higher selves. To step into the next chapter of our life’s journey.
Is this not the person you should be with? Is it time to change career paths? Is this an opportunity out of a life you’re unhappy with?
Do you need to be reminded of how strong and brave you are? How capable you are of surviving?
Is it time for you to step up and become the person you’ve always wanted to be?
What is the lesson? The message? What can you get out of this that will improve your life and well-being?
Final question: What can I do about it?
Let me be loud and clear here: the answer is never nothing.
There is always something you can do.
First, you have to shift your mindset, because without the shift, nothing you do will stick – no matter how awesome of a strategy – unless you do the mindset and self-believe work too. (This is what
I teach in my coaching, no matter what I’m coaching someone on.) So this means meditation, affirmations, positive journaling, etc.
Then, you get your lovely ass up off the floor, pull out a pen and paper and figure out what you need to do.
What would you tell a friend in the same need?
Start a business.
Pick up extra shifts and ask for bonus incentives at work.
Throw out all the garbage crap food in the kitchen and help speed up the healing process with nature’s foods.
Go to a meet-up and make friends.
Invest money in a coach, or a program, or a membership.
Master these 3 questions
Reframe the term hard and replace it with the word challenging — and recognize that a challenge is nothing more than the opportunity for growth.
Master these 3 questions and you’ll find yourself getting through those challenges a lot more quickly.
- Ask yourself what you’re afraid of so you can stop wasting time locked in fetal position.
- Find the meaning and the lesson of the challenge so you can make the appropriate changes. Root those changes in your truth so they stick and hold strong for real change.
- Be proactive. Do something. No self-reflection, meditation, affirmation, or optimistic journal writing will have any real life, lasting effect unless you put the energy into motion through real, measurable action.
Do the above and leave the rest in the hands of the Universe (God, Spirit, Divine, whatever).
Surrender, and send yourself some love and forgiveness. You’ll get through this. Everything will be okay.