I was having coffee with a super powerful love coach friend of mine and, to be honest, I was really frustrated.
Super high achieving entrepreneur and previously married, now single mom, with inherently high standards couldn’t connect deep enough with a man to be giddy excited for a second date.
Was I to be alone forever? I felt like a Sex and the City episode.
I shared with her how I’d get excited about a guy on paper, only for the connection to fall flat on the actual date.
And it wasn’t that these guys weren’t great, because some of them were, they just weren’t my kind of great.
I told her, “I want a man who can meet me at my level. Heck, I want a man who’s beyond my level, so I could feel challenged to grow to meet him at his. Who could support all that I’m doing in my business and personal growth. Someone who inspires me and truly sees me, you know?”
“A King,” she responded. “You’re waiting for your King.”
Holy shit, yes.
In an instant, I felt my frustration dissolve into self-love, and I not only forgave myself for setting the bar so high, but immediately got excited for the day he would walk into my life. I had been working so hard on my business and falling back in love with myself, that I knew that when my King would show, he’d be met by his Queen.
Anything less would be such a waste.
I’ve been married. I know what it’s like to go through meeting someone, thinking they’re the one you’re going to spend the rest of your life with, and then not having that pan out.
I guess I’m lucky, in that way.
Like having been around the block gives me that patience to wait and the fortitude to not settle.
I also honor the pain I felt before coming to that realization.
Fear. Feeling so alone. Wondering, if anyone would ever want a 30 year old single mom.
So what I hope this piece to be for you is what that moment was for me: A personal declaration that, not only do you deserve a King, but from here on out, you’re willing to wait until he arrives.
The Qualities of a King (or Queen)
(Just a Note: Whether you’re waiting for a King or Queen, we’re all deserving of royalty. This piece applies to all human beings.)
Although every King is different, there are some qualities that most of us will likely agree on.
- He’s done his inner work and has made growth part of his daily practice
- He’s got his shit together
- He doesn’t lose his cool through disagreements or when things don’t go his way
- He cherishes intimacy, depth, and connection
- He honors you in your magic
We all have our own versions of our ideal partners, and that’s okay. There’s no right or wrong, just what’s right for us.
There are, however, some nonnegotiable terms that need to be part of your new standard.
No toxicity. No jealousy. No physical, emotional, verbal or sexual abuse. No putting you down or dimming your shine or making you feel like less than the Queen that you are.
This needs to be your new standard. You cannot settle for anything less than a King.
If you feel like you’re settling, you are.
You’re a high achieving powerhouse badass of a babe (or, at the very least, you’re on your way). You need a man who will hold space for that bigness in you. If he hasn’t done the work to get there and is busy being caught up with his bullshit, it will slow or pause your progress into your personal power.
You need a man who will accelerate and who will amplify.
And until he shows up, you need to be okay being single. If you fill that space with anyone below that standard, there won’t be room for your King to show. Make sense?
What to Do While You Wait
Get your Queenhood on. Whatever that means for you, do it. Whatever area you want to level up, that’s what you do while you wait.
Whether you want to build an online empire, pay off your debt, climb up a corporate ladder or grow your Insta following to 4 million – that’s what you do while you wait.
Whether you want to lose weight, get healthy, change your relationship with food, start body building competitions or become a certified yoga instructor – that’s what you do while you wait.
Whether you want to connect with your inner sexual goddess, rebuild your self-esteem, work with a life coach, heal childhood wounds or go travel a la Eat Pray Love – that’s what you do while you wait.
Get your Queenhood on.
Not only will you be so busy and enjoying your life that you’ll barely notice the time pass, but this will actually speed up the time it gets your King to make his way to you.
A King will recognize his Queen.
So, listen… Royalty terms aside…
Wait for the best version of your life partner and don’t waste time or energy on anything less.Working on yourself is a much more worthy investment.
You deserve a King.
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